Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
