i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
