i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
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we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
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Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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