they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
