she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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