Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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