I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
