Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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