you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
