I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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