I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
