wat bout pragnant strippers??
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
