Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
