When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
