I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
