let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
