i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
