He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
