Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
They have beer where we have blood.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
