South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
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