You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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