Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.