you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
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I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
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Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction