Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
