JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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