So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?