Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...