Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
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i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
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You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.