Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not