I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.