Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
