i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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