I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
