All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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