She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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