and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize