Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
