this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize