hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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