I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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