hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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