sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
