We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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