That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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