there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
