On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
