my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
No stitches, just platelets and will power
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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