No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
