I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
