why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
