it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize