dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
tell me about the eggs
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