i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My pussy is not your playground.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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