I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
