You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
