Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
