i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
