Christians are straight up FREAKS
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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