it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
