This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
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