so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I am available for nakedness
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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