I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
