Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
