if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize