...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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