He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
