dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
