Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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