Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
