I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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